Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Porn Aficionados Say iPad Pro Is Greatest Tablet Ever

HOLLYWOOD—(TYDN) Porn lovers said Apple's newest and biggest iPad that debuted Wednesday offers the best experience to view their videos, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

"I mean, have you seen Scene 5 in 'Buttmasters 99' on that 12.9-inch screen?" Chester Molenstein, a 50-year-old California porn lover for several years, told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview.  "This device, it's an absolute beast."
iPad Pro offered in 3 colors

Apple said it's latest porn-viewing tablet provides as much real estate as two iPad minis. "iPad pro, which offers more pixels than any iPad we've ever offered, is a magical device Apple envisioned with the porn connoisseur in mind," Jonathan Ive, the technology concern's chief design officer, said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.  "The four speakers bring sound to life like never before, too, and orient themselves to however the porn viewer has positioned iPad Pro."

The newest iPad's split-view mode, according to dozens of interviews conducted by TheYellowDailyNews, was among the top features the porn crowd had been hotly anticipating.

"Are you kidding me? Now it's possible to watch two videos at once, on a gorgeous screen, and in one hand," Ely Schmuckstein, a 39-year-old Chicago insurance broker, told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview.

But the device isn't without its porn-loving naysayers. 

Many pornography enthusiasts told TheYellowDailyNews in exclusive interviews that it's difficult to hold the 1.57-pound porn viewer with one hand for a prolonged period of time.

"The screen is gorgeous and all, but I'm finding myself having to watch shorter videos because my hand and arms simply tire much faster than they did with my smaller Apple porn viewer," Dexter Cronstein, a 47-year-old single construction worker in Denver, told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview. "What the hell was Apple thinking?"