Friday, September 12, 2014

9/11 Forgotten As Nation Ponders Which iPhone Model to Buy

NEW YORK—(TYDN) From the new World Trade Center here to the San Diego beaches, 9/11 anniversary memorials were few and far between Thursday as a nation instead wondered together about which iPhone model they would buy when sales start early Friday, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

It was the first time since terrorists attacked the United States on Sept. 11, 2001 that there were virtually no anniversary memorials anywhere, not even at the original New York target, the World Trade Center.

Decision time. Photo: Apple/Special to TYDN
Experts told TheYellowDailyNews in a series of interviews that they didn't view it as an indication that there has been a reduction in Americans' patriotism. Instead, many Americans were just simply overwhelmed by the decision they were confronted with: either buying iPhone 6 or the iPhone 6 Plus.

"Online purchasing begins Friday, and supplies aren't expected to last. So you can see why the masses aren't preoccupied with an event in US history that would forever change the world stage and create endless war," said New York University political scientists Cal Mrongstein, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.

The American Psychology Association said that many of its suicide hotlines have been ringing off the hook.

"Many of the callers are really frightened that they might make the wrong choice by picking the wrong iPhone," Hanna Fronzmingle, an association spokesman, told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview. "Our staff has been trained to assure these callers that either choice they make will be amazing."

Fronzmingle also said many other callers are simply "freaking out."

"Then there's this whole group of other people," she said, "who worried that they're not sure they have the mental capacity to refrain from freaking out once they get their hands on either of these iPhone models."

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